I didn't do standup Monday night, after all, Franky told me I was going on, then didn't seem to know what I was talking about. But, hey, I worked up a 20 minute set, so I've got that in case I ever decide to do standup. I'm almost just satisfied that I could do 20 minutes if I had to, performing it's just masturbation anyway right? Like our radio show. We didn't broadcast any of them because we had done what we came to do. Oh we did broadcast them? Well when the fuck were they on? ...well that's a shitty timeslot.
Point being Franky has been busy in L.A. - who's Franky you ask? Well that's what we're here to discuss.
To those of you who have received a mass email about Knight Rider, thanks for coming to my blog and here's the whole story (long-time readers come back tomorrow to read how much I hated Lady In The Water.)
So I started this section of my blog called Short-Haired Chick Friday, it's dumb but everyone seems to like it. I pluck a chick with short-hair out of pop culture and run pictures of them as nude as possible under the guise of social commentary on how non-traditionally attractive women are just as blah blah blah..., the point is if you want to see Halle Berry's boobs I think I did that in May.
One day I post about local Burlesque Dancer Michelle L'Amour and get a response from someone who loved the post, her manager, Franky. I don't watch tv, which is not a statement, I couldn't tell you what Brothers Karamazov is about either, but evidently there's this show that's, get this...Star Search minus Ed McMahon plus David Hasselhoff...allright concept, you've got my attention. As it turns out Michelle had been on it, and as it turns out, made some good tv!
...yeah, Youtube has revoked the clip of Michelle, so there's Hasselhoff's Hooka Chaka, because if there's a song that needs to be remade...
So Franky asks me if I know how to do a Knight Rider impersonation? Which, actually, I do, but, like my Ted Knight, I never thought there'd be much call for it. I just kind of like doing those two impressions. Franky tells me the idea for Michelle's next appearance and it's genius and it's good tv and it involves Knight Rider. I record the voiceover of not only KITT but also Michael Knight and call my Mom, who's happy, because I was finally famous. It doesn't take much after ten years of obscurity for Mom to get excited about my career. She tells the entire family. Everyone tells everyone else who tell's their neighbors who tell everyone else.
Then with the one phone call, NBC legal said there was no way we could do the bit. In a very common piece of legality, too many people own too many pieces of Knight Rider, and you have to get them all to agree on the merit of Michelle's striptease. Good luck.
So Mom had to call everyone who had to call everyone else who had to call everyone else and tell them that her son was not famous yet as had been previously forecast, but he might be doing standup on...anyway, life moved on and Michelle performed in last month's Rent Party, doing the same striptease as she did on her inaugural America's Got Talent appearance.
Then...there was hope (yeah right), Franky was working the system (yeah right), I'd get a random text from Franky saying "Knght Rdr mayb go" (Franky was mugged on Sesame Street as a kid and to this day has an aversion to vowels).
And before I knew it Franky calls me Sunday while watching the rehearsal and he's freaking out and loving it. I couldn't believe it. THEN, knowing it had taped I decided to call my Mom and tell her that it was going to be on This Wednesday on NBC, 7pm to 9pm CST.
And do you know what she said?: "So I have to call everybody again?"
VOTE MICHELLE L'AMOUR! (and me)
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