Blurbs

I've noticed that some of the blogs I frequent have, on their sidebars, a list of positive, esteem-building encomiums -- or "blurbs" -- like you'll find on book covers from fellow, admiring bloggers. Arbogast has quite a collection, for instance, as does Stacie Ponder of Final Girl. It's probably worth pointing out that the two of them blurbed each other, which is probably unethical, but since Arbogast is involved, can we expect anything less?

In any case, I'm jealous. Apparently, I haven't "played the game" well enough, or at all, by neglecting to attend all of those blogger-heavy cocktail parties that everyone else goes to, the ones where everybody hangs out on, say, Greg F.'s balcony overlooking a municipal park or opera house or avant-garde candy store, arguing about the strengths and weaknesses of Blogger or Wordpress, or that the real problem with the world of film blogging isn't that it is being overrun by unwashed trolls in Battlestar Galactica gear, but rather that the dialectics of epistemology in regards to film as argument have been degraded to the point of incoherence by, I don't know, Fox, or somebody. And then Fox probably says, "But I made you guys potato salad!" And then Marilyn punches him in the teeth, and Rick spits in his face, and then everyone laughs. Because these are cruel people we're dealing with, and make no mistake.

So I'm too much of an outsider, is what I'm trying to say. But guess who doesn't care about that? That's right, me. The truth is, I can form my own blurbs without groveling to anyone. All I have to do is cull my comments, from the thousands of posts I've put up over the last decade, and stitch them together, because that's legal, and who's going to stop me? Ed Howard?? Don't make me laugh.

And culled my comments sections I have done, and I now lay before you a series of world-shattering blurbs that make everyone else's look like a bunch of dumb-ass garbage. See for yourself.

"I...like...you[!]' - Fox


"I thought...[The Kind of Face You Hate]...was...best." - Ed Howard


"On a lighter note...[this website]...is hypnotic." - Rick Olson


"I own everything [Bill R.] has ever released." - Brian Doan


"I'm a sucker for [Bill R. and this blog] though, so take that for what it's worth." - Bob Turnbull


"I think that the idea that [The Kind of Face You Hate] is [anything less than brilliant] is kind of bullshit." - Piper


"[Bill R.] is much better in his prose and in his ideas [than I am]." - John Self


"...clean and without influence...the legend [of this blog] precedes it." - Flickhead

"Jesus Christ..." - Dennis Cozallio

"[Bill R.] is brilliant, but [The Kind of Face You Hate] is one creepy and disturbing [blog]." - Pat


"Eat what?!! *swoon*" - jryan


"The blowjobs were amazing." - Greg F.


"We're taught from our first nightmares that 'it's only a [blog]' so that this kind of brutal realization that it's not is inherently chilling." - Krauthammer


"And I LOVE [Bill R.], especially since we got our new air mattress." - Marilyn


"I just noticed this." - Arbogast

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Have a great weekend, everybody!