I scribbled in my journal numerous sentences Chin said off-the-cuff that could have been canonized statements on art. It was inspiring, jolted a handful of ideas for working with poets and other photographers and put me face-to-face with a couple of my local, personal heroes in the greetings afterward (which I then attempted to mangle immediately, por supuesto).
But it wasn't only the art.
I've been in a new state for me, one that is healthy to get through but not healthy while going through.
Chin said, "Every act of liberation is an entrapment."
I have often felt the opposite concerning my body: every act of entrapment is a liberation. The experience of intense freedom -- intimate internalized freedom -- in acts that put into question the limits of my physical self. It's not for everyone; I welcome it, naturally and in my own (continual) surprise.
Thinking about defense mechanisms built in childhood and continued through adulthood,
initially built for safety and harbor, for liberation.
Habits of action that build an invisible structure around what I am capable of doing, even capable of thinking.
Every act of liberation is an entrapment?
I am not yet taking my head out of the ground,
but I'm smelling the soil and wandering what waters it from above.
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